Thursday, June 18, 2009

I found my GPS!

Exciting news and I'm sure you all feel better for knowing this.

Back in January I wrote an entry about the case of my missing GPS that was in the safest of all safe places. Yep, January. It's now, what, almost the end of June and it's only just re-appeared.

Before exploring this scintillating topic further I do need to correct a slight untruth in the heading of this blog entry. I didn't actually find my GPS. I need to extend my gratitude to the hard-working cleaning staff at Bulleen Wash and Wax, or Suds and Duds, Clean and Spiffy, something like that. I had attempted half-heartedly on a few occasions to track down that hiding place of my GPS with no luck. Using The Force to find locations had been working thus far with no major mishaps. Now before you go and call me lazy, I have some damn good excuses (excuses - classic sign of a lazy person).

1. Usually my back seat (and rearvision mirror) is taken up with these two furry critters.

And even if they're not in the back seat, their dog rug is, which makes rummaging under the seats a trifle difficult and if I'm wearing a material that fur can cling to, I exit my car resembling a female version of Chewbacca after just a few minutes of hunting. So really, unless I was going to go hunting for my GPS naked, it wasn't going to happen. And I don't know the neighbours well enough yet for them not to call the cops on me.

2. Even though I've been living in this house for almost 5 years now, each time I go to see my parents I seem to accumulate another long lost possession of mine that they don't want to keep on storing and it ends up in my boot.

Anyone want to play, guess that object and its purpose?

There's many layers to the contents of my boot. And I did briefly start shifting things around to have a hunt around for the GPS, but once I realised that it has taken years of speed humps and vibrations to make those objects click together to fit into the boot I didn't want to disturb it further. And before you state the obvious by saying, "Why don't you just take all that stuff inside?" I'm going to rebut with, because our house is also full. The previous owners of our house were not storage idea geniuses. Who installs a set of wardrobes in a bedroom where the doors never open up completely to give you access to the shelving? You can either get to half on the left or half on the right, but never the entire shelf! Sheesh.


So back to Bulleen Vac and Wax, Shine and Gleam, maybe I should go and check my receipt for their real company name?

I can see the look of despair on the faces of the staff of this car wash when they see me pull in. I try to make the time between their tortuous task as long as possible, because I care about their mental health, but sometimes the fur just gets beyond amusing and I have to make the trip.

The Manager walks up, greets me, looks at my car, sighs, I make my best "Sorry" face and go and get a coffee while they go about their business.

It's amazing some of the long-lost objects they uncover. If the car-washing business doesn't work out for them, I'd be happy to write a reference to pursue a career in archaeology.
This time the Manager came to see me mid-clean with a message from the cleaners. "They want to know if your dog is now bald". Ha ha, very funny.

He then went on to suggest ways in which I could perhaps reduce the amount of dog fur accumulating. He suggested one of those dog harnesses. Yep, got one. Imported from Germany by BMW no less. He said that maybe I should leave the harness in, rather than pulling it in and out as the fur is probably falling out during that process. No worries, except that the only time I take the rug out is to come here for a clean. Out of ideas, he then asked how big the dog was. When I said there were two and one was 45kgs he muttered under his breath, "Well that explains it".

And indeed it does. I know how much I moult, and while I weigh the same as our big guy Ralph, there's a much greater fur/hair to surface area ratio happening. I just have my head, he's got an entire body of moulting potential. And he has the pointy sticky-in fur too.

So now a week on I still haven't put the dogs back in the car and I'm the worstest dog Mum in the whole world... according to them.

Just give me a few more days enjoying my fur freeness and then they'll be back in the car, furring it up, heads out the window, doggy grins on both their faces and I know I'll feel better having them back in there too.

Next time, leather interior.


A visitor said...

What in the world would we do without car washes? At least, the kind where small objects like GPS's and assorted devices (I'm curious, but won't ask) are returned once found.

It's good to know that in your part of the world, cleaning out the car while naked is generally disapproved. The neighbours would never get their chores done. I suppose you could take the car to the beach and clean away while mostly naked, but the sand gets so pesky, and those waves are calling your name.

Leather interior + dogs = not such a good combo in my experience, unless you get black, and then of course the first time you sit down in it while in shorts or swimsuit, you wind up having to get treated for burns. Maybe I'm just not thinking it through, however, and there's a leather treatment that really does repel stains. So that you don't eventually wind up looking like a small female Chewbacca, and that image really is very amusing. :)

One item in your boot looks very much like a small and modernised billy club.

Your dog pictures make me want to reach out and pet them. I'll bet they're wonderful companions. Do they like to swim, or are they the kind that think water is best avoided except for splashing it all over when they drink?

Funny story!

Narelle from Aus said...

Your reasons for not having leather are exactly the same reasons I didn't get it in this car. Not only the burning heat, but the flip side of the freezing cold. Someone should bring out a seat that's not too hot in Summer, not too cold in Winter and give it a really cliche name such as, "The Goldilocks Seat". Consider that Patent Pending as of right now.

I don't find sand appealing other than it means there's a beach really nearby (beach trumps sand in a big way). That makes me not notice the scratching and burning of sand as you "Oo-o, aaah, eee," across it to the water on a hot day. Except if you're stuck in the desert. Then you're up for some real disappointment, and possibly a horrible, horrible death. Plus if you end up cleaning your car in a bikini near the beach, someone will assume you've just opened up a Kittens Carwash and you'll wind up with a long queue of fully shick VL Commodore Turbos waiting to be cleaned and it's not really cleaning their car they're interested in.

I believe the object that you're referring to as a modernised billy club is my old softball bat. Used primarily for the dogs (to hit balls not them!) It also acts as a great car-jacking deterrent.

Our dogs are great buddies to us. My Kelpie has a extensive vocabulary so I can talk to him and he genuinely looks like he's comprehending (don't mind the strange looks from passers by) and the big guy is like the Baby Bear from the Warner Brother's cartoons who likes to "hug 'em and kiss 'em." and "I think I'll call him George". Did I lose you at that point? He's the big kid that never grows up and could take down a lion. Really. That's his breed.

Jack LOVES the water. My Husband helped him over his water phobia by throwing him into a river off a cliff. Wouldn't have been my choice of how to get over a phobia, but it worked. I'm sure when he twitches at night while he's sleeping he's reliving that terrifying moment. On the plus side he now dives head on into any river or the surf and I roll on the sand in laughter as he tries to body surf, gets dumped by waves, and loves every minute of it.

Ralph, the big guy, HATES water as much as Jack loves it. And no, throwing him into the water doesn't make him like it any more. He won't voluntarily go into water and if he's taken in he just thrashes around until you're scratched and/or drowning and then bolts for land.

I wonder if Chewy ever did find a female to settle down with?

Thanks for popping by!

a visitor said...

Thanks for your very entertaining response. I love Warner Bros. cartoons, so after a bit of thought remembered the Baby Bear character. That's an effective way to get across what your dog is like. Now I'm trying to figure out which cartoon character my husband is most like, even though I don't think he'd appreciate that. Our dog is easy; she's Yosemite Sam, small but tough and feisty, and a bit clueless. Compared to a human, anyway, which I suppose isn't quite fair. ;)

Laughing over "Kittens Carwash" and the overgrown groms who'd be lining up. That's a gig I definitely wouldn't want. You'd never quit smelling whatever is currently most popular in men's cologne. Ewwww, now that's a memory I didn't need to trigger.

I never thought about whether Chewy ever found his soulmate. That could be an interesting encounter, although right now all that comes to mind is some stale Austin Powers jokes about shag rugs. Chewy, not to mention everyone else in the galaxy, wouldn't appreciate those at all, and Chewy seems to get offended easily, so I'll shut up.

I enjoyed popping by.