Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The Tails of Jack 'n' Ralph - Part IV

Why Jack Has a Phobia of Golf Clubs

Now before I have the RSPCA on my doorstep, I at least deserve the opportunity to explain myself.

Kelpies are extremely active; mentally and physically. Over the years I've found that Jack likes to make games out of anything just for a bit of fun. And mostly this leads to smiles, not tears. I did say mostly.

We live on half an acre so the humans like to make games up just for the fun of it too.
There seems to be a pattern where these games get setup during the pre-dawn hours of the morning and tend to involve people having been over at our house for an extended period raiding the fridge.

For example, previous backyard death traps have included:
1. A rope swing from the ghost gum
Don't worry about the 10 metre fall. Just jump as far as you can and put your hands out. You should reach the rope. Here, have another drink.

This is the tree the rope swing was attached to
2. A Go-Kart track
My husband's boss needed somewhere to store his Go-Karts for a while. Boss made sure he took the petrol out, my husband made sure he had some handy. Before you tackle our track, how much have you had to drink?

3. Totem Tennis
Don't play totem tennis in the daylight, it isn't half as much fun. Wait until it's dark and then just swing wildly. We have the First-Aid kit handy. Do you like Sauvignon Blanc?

4. BMX Track
You need to jump off the retaining wall, dodge the apple tree, watch out for the dog land mines (their slipperiness can cause you to lose control), swerve to miss the retaining wall stumps, up the slippery hill, onto the decking, down onto the other side of the decking, just watch out for anyone falling off the rope swing. Before you go, how's your drink?

5. Table Tennis
Don't have a table tennis table? No worries. Hubby is a tradie he'll just make one. Don't have table tennis bats? No worries, we have a tennis racket, a bat tennis bat and some golf balls. They'll do. Just watch out for the garage door mechanism, that hurts when your head hits it. Before we start, are you right for a drink?

So when the other half decided to make a mini golf course, but only had a pitching wedge in which to play with, I really wasn't that surprised. And he set it up during daylight hours with only Powerade in his system. Very proud I was.

He had created a 4 hole course each with its own challenge. It weaved throughout the backyard ending with the most challenging hole which involved hitting the ball up onto a sandy patch into a hole while dodging the roof, the ducted heating unit and the hot water service.

Jack thinks it's fun to grab a ball before you hit it. He runs off and then enjoys playing keepings off until you manage to tackle him to the ground or his younger yet much larger brother Ralph says something via mental telepathy that scares him enough to drop the ball.

Hubby called me outside to participate in the World Championship Mini Golf play-offs.

A Side Note and Potential Justification: Growing up I played softball as last batter and first base, tennis with the boys, cricket as opening batsman and hockey as the smasher. At just over 3 feet entering high school if I wanted to hit a ball I had to give it everything I had.
While 5 ' 7 " now, there's some habits you don't grow out of.

The first three holes were challenging but nothing out of the ordinary. Jack would grab the ball as soon as we put it on the ground, Ralph would chase him, we'd chase him, get it back and continue.

Then the final hole...
An incredible amount of concentration was required...
Swung the club back and started the follow through with everything I had (see justification note).
Unexpectedly Jack comes leaping off the decking to grab the ball and the full force of my back swing and the momentum of the ball hits his front leg.

Have you ever heard a dog scream? The sound of Jack in pain ripped through me. I thought for sure I had shattered his leg.

He ran to the fence on three legs, put his back up against it for support, sat upright on his back legs while holding up his bleeding leg and continued to scream. I ran over to him and held the wound together and screamed to hubby to go and get the car. What had I done?!

He let me hold the wound together which was a good sign. His screams subsided to whimpers.

Jack got loaded into the car and taken to the nearest vet.
The vet gave me that raised eyebrow look when I told him what happened but gave me the unbelievable news that it wasn't broken. He didn't know how either. He asked what we fed Jack. I commented Eukanuba. Apparently Eukanuba had just saved us a few thousand dollars and Jack's leg.

He still had surgery for the wound and a dented muscle, but otherwise he was fine. Phew.
I wrote to Eukanuba and they sent out a huge pack of goodies for the dogs. It was like sending Get Well flowers to a dog.

Doesn't look that bad I know. Feel his leg even today, it has a dint in it!
So, now, when we pull out a golf club - and we only putt now! - you can find Jack hiding under the decking.
He's not stupid.

Death Trap Update 30/6/08
Last weekend saw the creation of a new backyard death trap. It involved cutting a hole in the middle of a large piece of board, painting circles around the hole, labelling the circles with numbers, creating some stilts for the board and then covering the footy in Glad Wrap so it didn't get paint on it because the boys couldn't wait until it dried.
Welcome to our Aussie Rules Backyard Handball Competition.
Just watch out for those nails.


chevron7 said...

Hey Narelle

I'm such a sook where animals are concerned. I started crying the minute I read about Jack's mishap. I'm glad he was OK. I think I've recovered. **sniff sniff**.

My cat is terrified of the vacuum cleaner. I figure it's the noise. However she will run and hide before I've even turned it on. All I have to do is pick up the thing.

Cheers, Chev

Narelle from Aus said...

Oh no, don't cry! I was doing enough of it for everyone when it happened.
I was just imagining the headline.
Poor abused dog gets beaten up by new owner with a golf club.

I hear you on being a sook. If I'm watching a show and a human gets blown up.. no worries. Hurt the dog, cat, hamster ... I'm inconsolable.

Jack is petrified of the vacuum too.¤t=jack_afterwash.jpg
Big time sook!

Glad to hear your eye is on the mend.

Did you sort out your website issues? I popped over a week or so ago.